Have you ever had that feeling where two different places on this earth pulls you toward different directions? I know that I have a huge part of myself that I will leave here, how can you just go on like normal? Just go back, like nothing really happened.. I don’t know.
So, basically, this is the girl that I’ve been living with for about 2 months now and I’ll just let the movie explain how much we like it.
PEACE OUT
Jag är ju bra rolig också, haha. Jag sprang så snabbt som möjligt med mössa och vantar för att hämta posten och på vägen tillbaka springer jag in i hörnet på en av bilarna så börjar jag asgarva åt mig själv och springer in. Ser att jag har fått ett kuvert och får världens största leende och visar stolt upp “mammas handstil” för Jessi och hennes bf, Sedan öppnar jag mitt kuvert och börjar skratta åt svamparna och lingonen, haha. (två olika vykort, ett med svampar på och ett med lingonbär) När jag sedan ska gå in på mitt rum så vrider jag inte handtaget ordentligt utan jag går faktiskt in i dörren och finner mig själv, återigen, skrattandes.. åt mig själv, härligt va? Haha. Läser vad du skrev och ser pengarna. Grejen var också att jag värdesatte att du någon gång hade hållt i dem sedlarna mer än sedlarnas värde. Det är bara så konstigt att materiella saker så lätt kan skyfflas fram och tillbaka. Kärlek i ett kuvert kan man säga. Känslor i ett kuvert.
Jag blir både glad och ledsen när jag ser din handstil. Jag vet att ni fortfarande finns där på andra sidan jordklotet. I am wierd, and I know it. I got a message on facebook from Mom where she wondered if I had gotten any mail from them yet, which I didn’t know if I had or not. So I took my hat and my gloves, ran as fast as I could, out to the mailbox and back. So on my way back, I ran into a part of the car and starts laughing my butt off just because I’m so corny. When I came in, I saw that I had gotten an envelope and I get a huge smile on my face and, proud as I was, I showed my Moms handwriting to Jessi and her bf, Brady. And when I opened the envelope, I saw two postcards, one with mushrooms and one with lingonberries, very swedish of you Mom! haha. The reason was because when she was going to send me this, there was kind of a hurricane so it wasn’t very safe to go around shopping. When I were to go into my room, I don’t turn the doorknob quite enough so I actually walk IN to the door and once again, I laugh at myself, lovely right? Haha.
I read what she wrote and I saw some money that they had sent to me. The thing was that I valued the fact that she had been holding those money just a few days before, more than the value of the money. It feels so weird that materialistic things can be sent back and forth like that. Love in an envelope, feelings in an envelope. That something so small and “useless” can mean so much when it comes from someone so far away.
I feel both happiness and sadness when I see your handwriting, Mom. It’s like a confirmation so I know that you’re still there, on the other side of this earth.
I miss you a lot. But I never allow myself to think about it. Then those times comes where somebody asks: “Don’t you miss your family?” And I can never really answer honestly, because it hurts to much if I really try to figure out how I feel about it. Of course I miss them, of course it tears me down sometimes. Of course it’s hard. But, I’m not here to think about that. I’m not here to be sad, or brought down because of the memory of my dear family. Like I’ve read and said so many times before.
Missing someone isn’t about how long it has been since you’ve seen them or the amount of time since you’ve talked. It’s about that very moment when you find yourself doing something and wishing they were right there by your side.
I’m strong and I have to make every moment worth being away from the people I love. It’s not a piece of cake, definitely not. But I know that this will help me one day. And I know that I will come back and visit, and that people will visit me.
Thank you for that Mom. A postcard does so much more than an email. Even more than skype.
I love you, Mom, Dad, Ted, Charlie, grandma’s, granpa, brothers, sisters, nephews, nieces, friends, classmates, partypeople, everything and everyone that I’m sure that I will see again next summer. See you soon Sweden, see you soon..
I go through life thinking that I want to be the one that says: “At least I tried” I take chances so I wont regret anything later in life. I don’t want to be the one that says”I Almost did that” just because I was afraid of what Could’ve happened. To take decisions with positive thinking and only thing about what can go right instead of focusing on what could go wrong is what makes me throw myself out there. Just like I have by going to the other side of our planet to experience something that not a lot of people get the chance to. So here I am, trying to live to the fullest and not being afraid of saying Yes.
Week 3, Day 7.
Kenpo X, let’s go!
Working off the Thanksgiving food w/Jessi
Hahahaha, who says that life is more fun if you’re serious?
Definitely not one of us.
It is the 24th of November and I’m in Nixa, Missouri in America.
Today, it’s Thanksgiving and during the Thanksgiving day, you are supposed to think about everything that you are thankful for and spend time with the ones that you love.
I’m here, with my host-family. I just made my cheesecake from scratch and now I’m going to work out before we start to eat.
I started to think about everything that I am thankful for…
Yeah and btw,
We had a girls-night for Kelsey’s birthday last friday, we went downtown to eat sushi at Kai’s and it was such a fun night!
Pretty ladies!
I know that I look like a giant BUT I do have my heels on and I AM about 2 inches taller than all of them either way so..
live for today, and for what the future will bring.
I will let go of all my troubles that the past brought upon me and just live carefree.
Taking care of my mental, emotional and physical health everyday and to set new goals that I later on will and have reached, is my new philosophy.
Breath in all of the new impressions and then, breath out everything old, and bad that you’re carrying inside of you. Let go of yesterday and only look ahead.
My soul feels lighter, the future looks bright.
I will go down this road, I will continue this fight.
My own words
– Hannie
Saknar okomplicerade, kravlösa Sverige och friheten som man har där! Haha. Det är faktiskt en stor skillnad när man helt plötsligt inte kan ta sig NÅGONSTANS utan att någon kör en.
I miss how uncomplicated Sweden is. And the freedom and feeling of no pressure I have when I’m there.
It does make a huge difference when the surroundings doesn’t allow you to walk or take your bike so therefore, someone has to drive you everywhere you go.
In 5 days, I’ve been here for 3 months. And time have been flying by really fast!
I have about 7-8 months left and it feels very strange.
On one hand, I can’t imagine leaving my friends that I’ve got here.
But on the other hand, I am eager to come home so I can walk, go on bike rides, take the bus or the train and it’ll take me anywhere I need to go. To be able to go to the supermarket and buy whatever you’re craving or to have my own kitchen again with all of the special ingredients that doesn’t even exist here. To make dinner and other stuff that I can’t here.
To have the Fitness Center about 5 minutes away and work out exactly like I want to everyday and dance 2 times/week.
To have my friends so close so I know that I can reach them within 15 min.
It’s crazy how different two teenagers life can be depending on where in the world that they live.
And some of the girls here are going to be able to see that too when they come to visit me this summer.
One thing that I really really can’t wait for, is to see my friends and family again.
And I know, I know.. I shouldn’t be thinking about this right now.
I should enjoy every second of this and not think about home or get homesick.
But it’s just hard. It’s hard when you start to think, when it hits you that some things here would be so much easier if it would happen in Sweden. When you don’t know how to read peoples behaviors or attitudes here.
When you are used to something entirely else.
TIME TO BE POSITIVE RIGHT?!
Something that I should tell you is that I moved Sunday.
I moved in to one of my best friend Jessi’s house.
They understood that I was having a hard time at my former house and they gave me an offer, I couldn’t resist, haha.
And since Jessi plays basketball, she’s going off to look at different colleges tomorrow so they figured that I could do something fun too so I’m going to have a sleepover at Regan’s house. And I love her and her family so that’s going to be awesome!
Now, I have to do some American Government and some College Composition before I go to sleep, sigh..
Sleep tight, don’t let the bed bugs bite!
